At the top of the first mountain, looking down at the valley

18 March 2007

It’s been a pretty uneventful 3 weeks since I last posted anything—at least from an adventure standpoint. We have a short week coming up since 21 March is the Namibian Independence Day, so hopefully I’ll have a good story about the camping trip we’ve got in the works (more about that later). Life at MYO has still been very busy, and I’m really looking forward to the break. I’ve had a pretty challenging month of March both inside the classroom and out.

Two of my 7th grade students up and quit the program a couple of weeks ago. One of them had some problems last year with being bullied, and the same thing had been bothering him this year. The last spark for his short fuse was lit when someone started taunting him in class for knocking over a pencil holder and he responded by throwing one of the spilled pencils across the room at the kid’s head. It was the kind of situation that would be funny to watch on TV, but not the sort of thing you want in your classroom. I sent both culprits out, gave the other kids a worksheet and went outside to talk to them. All the thrower said was, “He made me do it! He made me do it!” So then I tried to find out what was actually said to him to make him launch a pencil in my class, but all I got for my effort was a good view of his back marching out of the facility and out of MYO. I followed him as far as the front gate but I guess he didn’t want to talk (the ignoring my calls for him to stop and talk with me tipped me off to that). A few visits to his mother at the local fruit and vegetable store were less productive than I would have hoped. All she could tell me was he didn’t want to come back to MYO and apparently he even told her he had come to tell me that in person following the incident. I asked her to give him a personal invitation to come talk to me about whatever was going on, but I still haven’t seen him. Too bad. He was a very bright kid.

The second student left me a note on a book report form that said, “Mr. Beau, I can’t come back to MYO. I’m sorry it had to end like this.” At first I thought it was some kind of joke from one of the other kids, but then I noticed the handwriting matched. Even then, I was a little skeptical. Then he didn’t show up for a couple of days and I got worried. So I had to go visit his mom, who’s a teacher at one of the local schools, and get the scoop from her. Once again, she seemed to respect her son’s decision not to be in the program despite my best sales pitch on his future, etc. This time, however, the kid responded to my invitation to talk things out, and after a long sit down with him I convinced him to come back. His issues were similar to another one of his classmates who has recently spoken with me about needing more of a challenge academically. So I’ve figured out a couple of ways to help them get some more advanced work while still catering to the rest of the class, who are not quite on the same level yet. Let me tell you: teaching is CHALLENGING. Every time I get a little part figured out, another big chunk of difficulty hits me in the head. I guess it keeps me on my toes—which I like—but learning to tackle each problem with patience and determination is a real test.

In addition to all the challenges inside the classroom, life outside the classroom has been a little rocky as well. I think I’ve passed the “honeymoon stage”, as Rob likes to call it, in Namibia, and for the first time I’m experiencing homesickness. Africa is a little more difficult than Europe was. I’m definitely at a different stage of my life than I was at 19—when I was just eager to get out and experience something new. Now I’m a little older and more settled into my ways, perhaps with better appreciation of the relationships I have with my family and friends. It’s hard to fill that void of family and friends here because there just aren’t a lot of people my age, who share the same interests as me, etc. I’ve met one guy that I go play pool with most weekends, but other than him, it’s just me and the roommates. They’re still great, although I start to get a little claustrophobic after I spend 16-18 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the same company so there’s starting to be a little tension in the house. I don’t think the fact that I’m the only guy around helps either—nothing like a gender imbalance to strain any situation. Then, on those days that you just want to be alone, you can’t just pop in your headphones and just duck your head so as to blend in here. It’s impossible. I stick out like a sore thumb. I’m white, for one. Two, I don’t look like an Afrikaner or German, so everyone assumes I’m a tourist. Three, once some people on the street hear “American”, they get visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads. Anyone who knows me can pretty much imagine how irritating I might find the events that follow any of those assumptions.

None of the above stuff is all bad, however. As usual when anything in my life starts to change, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. My bout of homesickness has been an eye-opening experience in that it’s forced me to realize how significant the people around me have become. I like the fact I miss my family and friends. I like knowing I have matured enough in the past few years to understand I’m not the only important person in my life. The difficulties at work are forcing me to come to terms with my own weaknesses. The past couple of years have brought their share of trials which have made me look within myself for the strength to continue after making mistakes, and I think this year will give me enormous opportunity to hone that skill. I know now that I will not ever teach young people as a career, because I don’t have the desire or, quite frankly, the patience… but I am still striving to be the best teacher possible for these kids. That’s going to take a lot of trial and error, and I’ve been preparing myself for the struggle ahead. Losing a kid doesn’t feel very good, but hearing from another teacher that one of my students really likes having me as a teacher is just as moving in a positive way. At the end of the day, these kids make all the difference. The hardships they overcome each and every day make my petty worries seem so insignificant.

Switching gears to the long weekend I mentioned earlier, we’re planning a camping trip up to a place called the Rhino Trust or something. Rob mentioned it when he was here, and I’ve been itching to get up there ever since. Apparently, there is some good hiking to be had near the campground along with the chance of seeing some desert rhinos and elephants that travel via the riverbed nearby. The place is located about 3 hours or so from here. We’ll have to rent a car to get up there since no public transport goes anywhere in that direction (which sounds glorious to me). It will be nice to get out of Swakopmund, even if only for a couple of days. School only runs Monday and Tuesday this week, so we’ll have Wednesday through Sunday off. I think the camping trip will be a Thursday-Saturday thing, but the details haven’t been hammered out just yet. I suppose we should get on that.

I should also mention that my plans to study German have gone out the window. They wanted N$920 for the course, which would have chewed up a significant portion of my per diem this month. Overall, it wouldn’t have been too expensive as far as language courses go, but I have better ways to spend my time and money in Africa. So instead I’ve been heading down to the local playground court on Tuesday/Thursday to show Namibians how we play basketball back home. The first time I went was pretty rough considering how long it’s been since I have even touched a basketball—let alone played an actual game. But after that things started coming back to me and now I’ve gained a little bit of a reputation as a guy you want to pick as your teammate. Some of the guys are pretty good, though, so we’ll have to see how much I can improve over the course of the year. It’s quickly becoming my second area of extracurricular focus next to pool. There’s another area I plan to come home far more skilled than when I left. Look out Paul Newman.

Before I go, I’d like to thank everyone for the emails recently. I love going to the internet café and coming back with lots of news from home. Hope you all have a great week, and I’ll get news of my camping adventures out as soon as I can. Last, but not least, Happy Birthday Trisha! Sorry I won’t be there to celebrate, I could really use some ice-cream cake right now… mmmm.